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Dear Dege #2 - The Greatest Golf Swing

Updated: Nov 26, 2019

Submission by Nate Lindberg


A massive boulder flew by my head and the giant was eyeing another to use as ammunition against me. I glanced around this ravine that I had just fallen into and there was no escape. It was just me and him, trapped at the bottom of this ravine. Aye, what’s a dwarf to do when the odds are against you?

You fight.

I unsheathed my daggers, sprinted at the gargantuan beast and shouted my best war cry, only to be knocked back by a flick of Giant’s finger. By the grace of the gods, I lived. I don’t know how, but I lived.

Weary and woozy, tattered and battered, I brought myself back to my feet. “TORRIN SUNDBAR DOES NOT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!” I bellowed out. Daggers in hand, I began to advance the giant once more. When all of a sudden, the ravine was filled with a tune so glorious and divine. That’s when I saw him riding towards me on his trusty goat, Cabbage, while wielding the most beautiful golf club that the world had seen. Everyone who was anyone knows Corned Beef, the Gnome star golfer. His tournament wins were legendary, and news of Corned Beef’s victories had even made its way below ground in hidden dwarven settlements.

To this day, I don’t know why he came to save my royal dwarven skin. But I’m glad he did. Both Corned Beef and Cabbage began attacking the giant, and I was very close behind, ready to bring this giant pain-in-the-ass down. Try as we might, we could barely scratch the skin of this behemoth.

Using my quick wits, I leapt on top of the nearest boulder I could. “Beef!” I shouted out, while making a swinging motion with my hands.

Thankfully, Corned Beef knew exactly what I meant. By the grace of the gods, almost as if it was a natural success *wink*.

Corned Beef, with his trusty club in hand, swung with all his might. The club came in contact with the boulder sending it barreling through the air towards the giant’s face. With another massive stroke of luck, I lept off the boulder and landed square between the giant’s eyes. Dagger in each hand, I plunged the blades deep into his eyes, piercing his brain.

The giant lifelessly crashed to the ground and thus began the unlikely friendship between a dwarven noble and a world famous athlete.

Torrin Sundbar, Dwarf, DnD Next

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